There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
