coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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