Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
