What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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