her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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