people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
