There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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