i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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