So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
