The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
