I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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