It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
