I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
