I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm both gender and math confused
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize