I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
