So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
