Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I intend to get homeless drunk
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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