CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
