Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
