Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
