Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize