The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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