Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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