am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize