And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
