u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
