yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
