Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
