I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
