I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
