i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
