I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
