my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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