i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
