yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
