forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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