if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
