I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
