i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
