We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
