McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
How external is "for external use only"?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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