K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
