we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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