i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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