I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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