You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
