I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I am naked and annoyed.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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