No, you can still breathe under the balls.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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