my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
