I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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