She is in my trunk
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
