HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
