My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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