I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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