Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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