She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
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