At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Randomize
