sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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