you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
