I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
