remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
