Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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