Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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