there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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