that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
