I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
