No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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