how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
