I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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