i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
handjob tips. give me some.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
